HELLO MY BABY, HELLO MY HONEY, HELLO MY RAGTIME GAAAAL
Hang on, something is missing…
why did automatically look to see if its a guy or girl?
First day at my new job!
(Dead Flag Blues playing in the distance)
i always think “if people want to talk to me they will” which is my reasoning for never really starting conversations so i’m permanently thinking no one wants to talk but what if they’re sat there thinking the same and it’s just this cycle of silence that never gets broken because i’m too stubborn to just put myself out there
people complain about auto correct but it’s helpful 99% of the titties
“well that’s not going to get me many notes!”
“I don’t care.”
This is the best one yetActually, yes.
My mother would be like this.
(rebagleable version because idk)
stiles’ mom was very young
like, 8 years younger than papa stilinski
and she was always very sick
like had to carry an oxygen tank around sick
and he was her cool high school age baby sitter and she was just in elementary school and they were neighbors and boy howdy was he cute
and o so sweet
and one day (when she’s 15 and he’s 23) he’s over—helping her with homework or something—and he hears her and her parents talking in the kitchen about her sickness and when he asks her about it she mentions she’s only got a little time left (about a life expectancy of maybe 25 years)
and when he stands there dumbfounded she asks him to marry her
he’d be like “no you’re too young omg”
and she’d be like “ok ok when i turn 18 will you marry me”
and he’d like begrudgingly agree because he loves her but more in a brother kind of way but he also wants her to be happy and have as much of a life as she can before she dies
so then she turns 18, and they get married a few months later. it’s a small ceremony, nothing fancy. just the right amount of pomp, the right amount of circumstance.
and after that they don’t really do anything sexually ever because wow thats awk she’s so young shes like his little sister
they just sort of watch movies and go on road trips and cook cool dinners once a week and sometimes they’ll even do something really dumb like eat ice cream right outta the tub while they sit on the couch and argue about football and she’s so cute she’s so lively he can’t believe she could ever die
and so then after like a year she just sort of slides next to him on the couch all coyly and she’s like “hey baby it’s my 21 birthday let’s get drunk n do the ol horizontal tango” and he’s like “omg can you even do that is that something your doctor will ever allow you to do” and shes like “oh come on i’m gonna die anyway let’s live a lil” and gosh he is so weak so so weak and then 9 months later a lil baby boy is born
she’s barely 22 and she’s got a son and he’s so cute and papa stilinski can’t help but think the kids gonna be just like his mom he’s all bouncy and happy and she’s fucking teaching him about dinosaurs and then he turns five and she buys him a boa and he names it arthur because she’s got him on this whole camelot kick.
when she turns 25 and doesn’t die, they have a party. they do every year she outlives her life expectancy, but stiles doesn’t understand, and they don’t have the heart to tell him (papa tells him that his mom is so special she gets two birthdays. stiles demands he get two too)
he’s barely six and his mother can’t walk anymore. she can’t breathe on her own. no amount of dinosaur drawings will make her better.
that’s when papa starts drinking, and mom can’t do anything to help. papa wonders why he ever thought she’d been immortal. that stupid oxygen tank she carried around, that should’ve been his first hint. all those parties were just them tempting death.
“when didn’t i tempt death?” she jokes and he downs another bottle.
she wasn’t his little sister anymore, she wasn’t his best friend, or his bratty neighbor. she was the dying woman he’d hopelessly fallen in love with, and now she’s going to leave you with this fucking kid, and he’s—he’s—
“he’s not going to leave you alone, not like me.”
“It’s been two years since I lost her. I mean, it’s not that it was unexpected or anything. We had been given our three months notice, which I suppose is a great deal more than many. And we all knew it was coming long before then.
I still come here and imagine that this is the spot where all of my lost memories of her - and all of the memories we never had the chance to make - are washed up.
I tell myself if that were true, and I waited long enough, a tiny figure would appear on the horizon across the field she used to take me to. And gradually it would get larger until I’d see that it was her.
She’d wave. And maybe call me in to get washed up and ready for dinner.
I don’t let the fantasy go beyond that. I can’t let it.
I remind myself that I was lucky to have had any time with her at all. And I remind myself that maybe none of us really understand what we’ve lived through, or feel we’ve had enough time.”
when you wake up from a particularly disturbing dream and just stare at the ceiling for a while like what crevice of my mind did that even seep from